Well here I am again, able to laugh. Laugh at it all, laugh at myself, and all of the crazy I had to go through to get here to the other side. Where laughing is actually necessary and possible.
What other side do you wonder?
The other side of The Game. And "The Game" that we come here to play is the game of the illusion and the world of duality. And it is a duel alright. I have been in full metal combat, heavily and wholeheartedly for just over a month, and really, as I look backwards, I have been in battle for much longer, which I will do my best to explain, as I walk the path of the Alchemist, as the spiritual warrior, and all of the other names and labels we attach to The Path. And those of you who are also on The Path, know exactly what I am talking about. While others have no clue. And that, in itself, is perfect.
Welcome to the game of life.
So as I have been in full metal combat, I have been sharing just a few of these battles with you, as there have been many many battles I have been engaged in as of late. And that is because the battlefield is rife with illusion and illusionists. And in order to even get onto this battlefield and engage with it, the Alchemist must awaken to the fact that there is even a battlefield that exists.
And then the Alchemist really has no idea that they must put on their samurai warrior gear and put batteries into their light saber to go into full metal combat in order to get to the other side, or the next level or dimension, of their journey, on their path, which is…
The Path of the Alchemist.
Some people also refer to this path as The Path of the Christ or Christ Consciousness, the Path of Unconditional Love, The Path of Transformation, of Unity, of Oneness, among many other names and words, including the Middle Path, the Middle Way and the Central Path, as the sage and "awakened" or "the enlightened one" Guatama Buddha coined it, and also used to describe the character of the Noble EightFold Path, that he discovered lead to liberation, and which he called Buddhahood. The Taoists called this the way, the path or the route, or simply just the Tao. In the sacred texts of the Vedas, the path is referred to as a revolutionary lifestyle or The Vedic Way or The Art of Spiritual Transformation.
And this path, whatever you wish to call it, is not for the fainthearted.
Because once you light the flame, which is an alchemical element and symbol of the Alchemist or the Christ or the unconditional Lover, or the “ONE”, there is no turning back, but then again, there is, as in Cypher's case in The Matrix, for example, in which he was awake and he was on the path, but he didn't like it, and he wanted to get plugged right back into ignorance. And that in itself is a mind bender. And I will do my best to explain this in more writings of my mind later, though this explaining will of course come through my own eyes and my own experiences upon The Path.
Welcome to my mastermind....
The thing about The World of Illusion, which is a world that we indeed have created ourselves, is that it really, really, really is a GAME. The most ultimate game of them all. As I have mentioned before in previous blogs, I love games. I am really good at them. I love puzzles, riddles and labyrinths. A labyrinth is actually one of the best metaphors and analogies of the game. Because you go round and round and round in circles, until you come out the other side. And really, you can see the labyrinth for what it is, and maybe you CAN just step out of the lines and directly head straight from A to B in a linear fashion if you mastered that bitch, though clearly, the circular and cyclical formation and representation of the labyrinth itself may very well be the metaphor and hidden meaning that allows you to step through unscathed and unburnt to a motherfucking crisp, but only until you transcend the labyrinth itself. This I am still discovering, exploring and researching like Sherlock Holmes, the Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock.
Transcendence then, becomes the ultimate goal.
I know of no one who has reached stages of transcendence without first going through the labyrinth, aka the battlefield, more than once. If you have, say Hello! I would love to hear your story. Especially since I would like to stop “recreating” the battlefield scenes on the wheel of my life, and preferably stop having to walk through the wheel of the labyrinth, also known as the wheel of Samsara, with each bubble of bullshit, aka Illusion, I must burst. Though I do not regret the battlefield, as it is the battlefield that has gotten me to right NOW. And I must admit, that I do take much pleasure in busting bullshit bubbles. Pop! Pop!
And if this is indeed MY path, then so be it.
Though I do feel that after the battlefield I have just recently left, or escaped from, at least it felt like I had just barely escaped from, though the truth is, the battlefield is something that I have actually risen from... well, to put it simply, I am now choosing a more gentle way. I believe I have earned a more gentle way, therefore I now imagine and wish and manifest and create, and ultimately choose, a more gentle way, though at the same time, because I have fought, and fought hard to be where I am standing now, which is a state of perfection filled with humour, I am totally NOT afraid of the battlefield nor the war that takes place there in that dimension, which is really a war that takes place within, sometimes called the War of Awakening.
Therefore the war within is necessary to your path and necessary in order for you to rise.
This war within, the one that you graduate to AFTER awakening, is the war of duality itself. It is the war between positive and negative, good and bad, angels and devils or archangels and fallen angel, light and dark or brightness and darkness, god and the opposite of or the nemesis of god… and all of the other aspects of duality that exist. And all of this, all of duality, lives within each and every single one of us.
I am both Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader, from Star Wars, for example.
I am also both Skeksi and UuRu, also called the Mystics, from The Dark Crystal, which is one of my favourite movies of all time. These dualities portrayed in this movie live within me, and within you. I will talk more about this later, as well as their discovery within me, the lessons they have taught me, and the emergence of their dualities within. Because let me tell you, this emergence, or merging of duality within, is a goddamn emergency sometimes. And this is what is called ASCENSION. In the case of the emergence of the Skeksi's and the UuRu's, they merge into a new dimension of Being or beings called the UrSkeks, and then they ascend off of the planet. They actually get to go home. And their time on the wheel, the Earth plane, which is one of The Seven Planes of Existence, is finished and complete.
Stick that in your peace pipe and smoke it.
Some people call this emergence, this work, this battlefield... ego work, shadow work and all kinds of other fascinating words and interesting kinds of work. And it really is WORK. The hardest work I have ever encountered, as well as the best work I have ever done. Because if I thought waking up was hard to do, battling after my awakening was even harder.
Some battles I won and some I lost. And with the winning and with the losing, we lose people along the way. I just lost one of my best friends the other day. And I almost lost my lover yesterday. And did I really lose friends or anyone or anything? Wasn’t it all meant to be? Isn’t it all perfect?
Therefore, on some level, both winning and losing doesn’t matter, as the people that are meant to be in your life will be there, and the ones who are meant to exit will. Though the loss, regardless of whether you know this or not, is painful and excruciating, until it no longer is. And that in itself also takes work to get through. What may matter the most are the lessons learned during and after the battle, which is a battle of the survival of the fittest that no one ever really talks about, because not many people understand this battle, much less even know that this battle even exists, because it lives in a dimension not many are even aware of. Because you first have to get through other levels and DIMENSIONS to get to this one. And most don’t even know of the levels, much less the dimensions. And then people think you’re crazy when you try to talk about it.
This is why Alchemists go into hiding.
This is why Alchemists never say they are Alchemists.
This is why I never said I was an Alchemist, until just recently.
I am now coming out of hiding. I am now ready to reveal things to you. I am now ready to reveal parts of myself, if not my whole self, with you. And that is kind of a scary thing in itself, and it may very well be something that chases me back into hiding, or embraces me in my full glory of Being. This I will not know until I allow this thing I call the Resurrection of Tamara Motherfucking Rennie, this bravery, and maybe even this blind courage, to write itself through these words that you may very well reject or embrace. And which I may very well not even care where you stand with your judgement of rejection or embracement. I will not know until I get there, because that is the mystery of this journey and The Path…
The Path of the Alchemist.
So whether I go back into hiding or not still remains a mystery to me, and still, I am compelled to sit here and watch my fingers type these words onto a blank page. There is no thing nor no one I can nor will trust, except the one inside of me that holds this compulsion. As trust is another illusion which I will write about later. And if this compulsion within burns another house, another illusion, another illusionist or the illusionist within my Self to the motherfucking ground, I will come out the other end with more lessons, and hopefully more laughter and awareness and knowing. For there is only one thing that I truly know right now and that is…
I DO NOT KNOW.
And I know that I do not know without a shadow of a doubt, all the way deep into the core of my Being, which does not always "consciously" reside in this body of mine; this body which has been named Tamara Rennie.
And that in itself is another real eye opener, and another real mind bender in and of itself. Did I whisper into my mother’s ear when I or before I landed in her womb of love and creation, what my name was? Did I tell her what I wanted to be called before or after I arrived? Or did she indeed pop me out, and decide that she will name this body, this little Being who cannot speak for herself nor choose for herself, a name? Because my Mom was thinking of calling me Tyler, but she chose Tamara, and I am quite happy with her choice. But was it really her choice, or was it really mine? And these are the types of questions I ponder often.
Welcome To My World.
So the battlefield, well, that is one crazy place. It cray cray! And I didn’t know I had such capacities and abilities to fight such wars within and without. And this is part of the processes associated with awakening. Because if you do not know what you can stand, nor endure, nor accomplish, nor burn, then how can you stand at all after the fire and the smoke have cleared? How can you stand in the aftermath of your creation, rise from the ashes like the Phoenix, and then not look back and see the perfection, no matter how crazy nor painful it may have been, without nodding your head, and having a laugh - after all the tears and the loss and the pain, which is also a part of the process of letting go and of liberation - to be able to laugh at the perfection in the insanity and the game that you actually helped to create? And that you created to come and have a play - to see if you truly could play it and awaken from it. Because you, like, me are the Creator, unless of course, you are not. And only you can truly and ever know this. And only YOU can truly and ever know this if YOU are on The Path, where you wake up, and continue to wake up, then you stand on the battlefield and go to battle time and time again, and then you ascend off of the battlefield, and ultimately off of the wheel.
I know that for me, I have been on the battlefield and have risen above it many times now. It is really only through this last battle that I can now understand it all, or at least this part, and be able to see it all, or at least this part, much more clearly to where I can actually start to put it into words to write this and share it with you. And this is, yet again, just another beginning to my story.
What is my intention for writing this?
First and foremost it is to explain it to Tamara Rennie, herself, who is still remembering who she truly is as the, or as a, Creator. And Tamara Rennie, with the purpose, mission and quest that she is on, feels compelled to share it with you, in order to help you, because she is living and breathing her Purpose, Mission and Quest. And she hopes with all of her heart and fire and wisdom, that you are also living your purpose, mission and quest. And if you are, and you need a little extra assistance from another ONE on The Path, or if you’re feeling stuck or lost or whatever on The Path, she hopes to help you.
And if you are not on The Path at all, but you want to be, she hopes to help you too.
So this is just the beginning of the end of the battlefield. And I, Tamara Rennie, am standing here looking at the perfection of my creation, as the Creator of my TamaraVerse. And the funny thing about it, as I sit here typing this right here right now, is that I am giggling and laughing at it all. Because the illusion is funny when you see it for what it truly is, the ultimate Cosmic Joke. And if you can’t see that right now and if you want to see it, ring a ding a ling me, because I am here in service not only to myself and the awakening of consciousness within, but in service to you and the awakening of consciousness in YOU.
And yet again, the only thing that I do know, is that I do not know, and this I know.
And as my girl, my SiStar, the one and only Erykah Badu sings, it goes On & On...
Intergalactic Intuitive Investigator
PS: Please click on all of the different links above in either BLUE or GREEN to see a variety of different words, articles, videos and songs on the various subjects contained therein. So click away if you’re interested in more.
Photo Credit: Likes
Do you like what you just read?
Would you like to read the next instalment?
Would you like to continue reading my stories of awakening?
Subscribe to my blogs here...
Let your awakening begin! Book a session now!