For the past several years, I, nonchalantly and half-jokingly, have referred to myself as the Gordon Ramsay of the spiritual “rebel” world. He and I share the same love of the word FUCK and of pointing out the blatantly and bleedingly obvious insanity of people and the world these people operate in and create, such as the FOOD WORLD as in Gordon’s case. I, unlike Gordon, do not go around yelling and screaming or cursing at my clients or students (customers or employees) when their insanity is glaring me right in my motherfucking face, though sometimes I would like to, believe me.
I must admit I love Gordon Motherfucking Ramsey. I have since the very first time I laid my ears on him and heard my favorite word escape his mouth. Love at first FUCK, if you will. And I could not get enough of him back then, and today, I still cannot get enough of him. His shock value is so needed in the world, and in the Food World of restaurants especially. I have caught a handful of episodes of his show called Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, and I actually get “mentally” off on his blatant and hard ass truth. Because these people need a big fucking dose of a truth as big and ballsy as Gordon Ramsey to come in with a cricket bat the size of Big Ben and wake these dumb motherfuckers up.
Because these people can KILL YOU…DEAD!
Have you seen these restaurants of DEATH? Of filth and putridness and rottenness and squalor that these so called “chefs” and “cooks” are calling FOOD… and are dishing up to the general and unsuspecting public, who really just want something decent, ANYTHING decent, to fill their empty bellies? If not, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Did you know that food poisoning kills over 350,000 people per year DEAD? Me neither!
So then they, the unsuspecting public, rock up to a restaurant of death and substandard regulations of health and safety and sanity, and are served up a plate of KILL ME MOTHERFUCKING DEAD… full of frozen, rotting, twenty three year old, microwaved slop that they have the fucking audacity to call… FOOD.
Thank GOD for Gordon Ramsey! GOD save him because we motherfucking NEED him, at least I do, and I know it. Because I am sure that you, and me included, have eaten in restaurants just like these. You know the ones, where you might not particularly have a full blown bout of Montezuma’s Revenge that leaves a stain of ass-channelled stench stuck onto the walls of your bathroom for three goddamn days, the kind that leaches into the living room and starts the paint peeling in profound piled proportions, and in which you just lost three pounds.
"Hey, I look hot! Food poisoning looks good on me! Honey, can we go eat at “House of Fuck My Bowels and Bathroom Up” next Wednesday night? I have a bridesmaid’s dress to fit into that weekend, you know! Honey?" But Honey cannot answer because he is doubled over with the liquid shits in the bathroom wishing for the Grim Reaper to come take him, ANYONE to come take the pain and the gurgling death squirts away.
But you might just end up with a little tummy ache afterwards, if not before, you leave the restaurant of HELL. And you KNOW! You know EXACTLY what I am talking about!
So then enters a man I had never heard of before. And this man has a middle name of his own. And his full name is Marco Pierre White. And boy, is he one badass motherfucker. I was just catching an episode of MasterChef Australia one day and here enters Marco on the scene of my life, scene 1, take 1… and I didn’t even realize the impression that he was here to make on little ol’ me, until just an hour or so ago.
The kind of attention this man affords, or demands, or whatever the fuck it is that he does with his kind of MAGIC and ESSENCE and PRESENCE, which is beyond fucking me at this moment, is fucking ASTOUNDING. You could hear a FEATHER drop in his presence. Not one person was saying a word on MasterChef when he was speaking. They were probably not even BREATHING. This is the kind of presence Marco commands or maybe just exudes. I still do not know, though I really fucking want to.
So I watch this man Marco run this motherfucking show, and I mean RUN THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHOW. He is not only the EPITOMY of MasterChef, he is THEE MasterChef. And I am in total and utter fucking awe.
Then last week I caught a TV show that he is hosting called Marco Pierre White’s Kitchen Wars, which is filmed in the Land of the Eng’s (England). And this man Marco yields the biggest chopping knife right in the eyes-wide-open faces of the people on the show. I am like, HOLY SHIT! He is a samurai, a smiling assassin, a food ninja of the highest standard and level of just about anyone I have ever seen. I am gobsmacked awake at the sheer cunningness-like-a-fox amount of precision and total control this man has. GOBSMACKED the fuck awake. And when the show ends, a part of my heart is kinda broken, left spilling all of the shock and awe and wonder out onto my living room floor for closer examination.
And then today I decided to see if there was anything worthy of my attention on the telly, and low and behold, Kitchen Wars was coming on in ten minutes. I just about creamed my corn with the delight of getting to witness this man in action again. And yet again, he yields this big butcher knife right in the face of the contestants and I fall in deep deep admiration and awe of this man all over again. And then he says something that makes me not only fall in LOVE with him, but that also smacks me awake AGAIN, while yielding his samurai sword of precision…
“I’m in quite a brutal mood.”
Marco’s samurai sword is sharply pointed straight at the chef he is speaking to, his eyes are piercing right into this man’s SOUL, and then he simply and purposefully just turns his back and walks away after delivering this one liner of motherfucking perfect proportions. I literally jump off of the couch and scream BRAVO, while clapping my hands in pure and utter gratitude. This man deserves an Academy Award, an Oscar, a hundred and two fucking Michelin Stars, which he probably already has, as well as my total and complete devotion to whoever and whatever the essence or SOUL that is operating through this human being. He is like THE “motherfucking” GODFATHER of the FOOD WORLD. And he is all of the sudden my most favorite person on the planet.
(Gordon's Lost Stars) (Marco's Over Stars)
And I’ll tell you why…
So with me and my big mouth, which I have had ever since I was nicknamed B.A. after B.A. Baracus also known as Mr. T from the A Team when I was about 15 years old, because I had a very very Bad Attitude, and why they just didn’t call me Mrs. T, I will never know… and since I have recently started sharing my WORLD, my mind and my words with the rest of the world via blogging and the interFaceBook of expression of these blogs… that I have called Me & My Big Blog… out into the world, I have been questioning some of my very own words… and mostly, the so called and perceived “bad” words I love using. And I have said this before and I will say it again, that I love ALL words and I do not for one second believe that there are such things as “bad” words. To me a “BAD” word, or my least favorite word in the whole wide world, is FESTER! Ugh! I cannot stand that word. FESTER in MY world, in my TamaraVerse, is a really BAD word. It just grosses me out.
So with all of this questioning of late in not just the words that I use, but also in the delivery of how I use these word… because, well, to tell you the truth, I don’t know exactly what has happened to me, though I kinda do know, just a little, though I’m really not ready to share THAT with you just yet… but what I do know without a shadow of a doubt is that I have changed. And I have kinda, just a little… oh alright, I have been totally set aflame by the fire of TRUTH. And that FIRE is what I am now calling my FORCE, which you too, more than likely, have within you, as well. Just ask Darth Vader, who I call my Daddy.
So this FORCE, which is neither good nor evil, has been raging inside of me, and it or she or whatever the fuck it is, is burning everything it or she touches. Sometimes I am just standing back watching her burn a goddamn illusion, or a goddamn Facebook post, to the motherfucking ground. She, or it, or whatever this is inside of me now, well, I am in motherfucking AWE of HER. I am just standing back and watching the show. And boy, does she put on a good one. I want to stop some of the things that she says and does, but I do truly believe with 100% of my being, that she is doing exactly what NEEDS to be done.
At least in my world, anyways.
So after Marco says, “I am in quite a brutal mood,” the respect sauce I have for this man begins to bubble. And we all know that when you add fire or a flame to anything in the beaker or on the stove, it begins to TRANSMUTATE or burn. And the whole point of that is to burn away the DROSS, the bullshit, the crap, as a means of PURIFICATION… and whatever is NOT pure rises to the top of the pot and we all know that SCUM, as it is often referred to in the FOOD WORLD, must be scraped off and discarded, as that scum is the dross and the shit that will sour, and ultimately ruin, your stew. And then what is left in your pot is PURITY. It is the purity that remains. And it is this spiritual law of purity that we turn around and feed to you. This is not only the way of the cook and the chef, it is the way of the ALCHEMIST. And I am here to not only recognize the alchemist in others, but to also recognize the alchemist within myself.
So after Marco floored me and burned me to a motherfucking crisp with his one liner of pure samurai precision, and with my full blown attention and my admiration and my respect sauce bubbling away, I decide to Google “Marco Pierre White Quotes” and a few interesting quotes and articles popped up in the search engine. One especially caught my eye and it had to do with Gordon Ramsey. It is an article delivered by “The Telegraph” a UK publication. The article is “Marco Pierre White: I will never speak to Gordon Ramsay again”.
And I’m like WTF? I love and admire and respect BOTH of these men, and they are either fighting or have had a falling out. Well this enquiring mind needed to know exactly what had happened. I get ten paragraphs in and just about fall off my unicorn, pee my panties, poop my pants and drop my iPhone. The dude or writer who is writing this article, and who is also riding “in a Range Rover en route to the killing fields of England,” with the infamous M.P.Dub, is not just a dude nor a writer, he is a close personal friend and fellow hunter of M.P.Dub’s. And all that this friend writes in ONE sentence on the very first line of the tenth paragraph is this…
“I remember him telling me once that his favourite film of all time is The Godfather.”
And then a ton of bricks fall from the sky and crash land on me while I am sitting on the couch. “WHAT THE FUCK?” my mind screams… goes blank… and then it all makes perfect sense… or at least it was beginning to. And then I started thinking of The Godfather… of his presence, of his very few words, of the fear of GOD that he put into every single person that came into his presence, including mine, and maybe even yours. That role put Marlon Brando into the kingdom of motherfucking superstar of badass proportions…THEE motherfucking superstar of badass proportions. One that I cannot even begin to describe with the limited words available to my English vocabulary. The fear of GOD is what stood out the most in my mind. And that is the exact same presence that M.P. Motherfucking Dub, puts into people that come into his presence, including mine, and maybe even yours. (Read about why Marlon rejected his Oscar! Amazing!)
I stopped reading the article and I still haven’t finished it as I am writing this to you right here right now.
So, I then ask my friend Jamie - also fondly and sometimes not so fondly known as MOTHERFUCKER, who is and has been a chef and has worked in the world of FOOD and celebrity chefs for the last 24 years of his life on the planet - if he knew anything about what happened with Marco and Gordon. And Jamie, just happens to know just about everything in the FOOD WORLD and then he tells me what he does know.
And I am like no fucking way! Man, what a story of outrageous proportions.
So then we go for a drive and my mind is still swimming with all of this information. I then tell Jamie that I have always thought of myself as the Gordon Ramsay of the spiritual world, and now that I have “met" Marco, and the whole GODFATHER concept that has been all squished up in my face, that I would actually prefer to be a little more fear of God-like, precision-like, like M.P.Dub. And then I said that maybe I am neither, because really, I AM NOT, I am Tamara Rennie, but how I deliver her to the world might need to be thought out a little better, or maybe not. I was just opening my mind a little bigger to the possibilities of not particularly who I AM, but more of who I could become, if that becoming was indeed part of my path.
And then I said to Jamie that maybe I am in neither of these two extremes… maybe I AM something, or I could become something, that lives or balances in the middle - what I call The Neutral, and which I will write more about later from my personal perspective and meditations - or maybe something that swings back and forth between these two ways of BEING, of commanding attention, respect and more importantly, in being a SPIRITUAL CATALYST of change, fire and TRUTH in the world in MY own unique way.
So regardless of anything, these two Food Stars are both feeding me, and boy are they feeding me good. And no, it is not food they are feeding me, it is thought, hence the old saying FOOD FOR THOUGHT. And this perfectly plated entrée of thought is one that has me, with a fork in one hand and samurai sword in the other, about ready to dig right in. So stay tuned, because dessert is NEXT…
Oh, and before I go, I forgot to tell you that Jamie, aka Motherfucker, is now writing his OWN blog, of which I will be sharing with you someday real real soon. And you aren’t even going to believe what HIS blog is called! Take a samurai sword stab in the dark if you dare! And uh, NOPE! Not even close! It is called I LIVE WITH AN ALIEN! And guess who that alien is? Motherfucking ME! So uh, let me know if you’d like to read his blog(s) when they come out, because he is already working on the first and second one as I type this to you right now. And I must admit that I am a little scared AND a little excited about what he has to say about little ol’ me, alien and all! Subscribe HERE if you like!
Oh, and if you click on all of the highlighted words above in BLUE or GREEN, they are links that will take you to other articles, videos and information that I find relevant or funny that support my viewpoints or humor or teachings, and all of the other things that I am all about, and which I think you might enjoy! So click away!
Food Star Wars & Samurai Swords,
TAMARA MOTHERFUCKING RENNIE
Intergalactic Intuitive Investigator
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Did you like what you just read? Would you like to read more?
He Said What?
"I have now had two readings with Tamara Rennie and can honestly say she is absolutely amazing. My first piece of advice is make sure you record the session because she is so in depth and specific with her readings, there is no way you will get anything out of it unless you can re-listen to the sessions and take notes on her exact words. She will dig up your innermost problems, both conscious and unconscious, and get to the root or origin of these issues to explain specifically why they are there and how to get rid of them. She does much more than just answer curious questions. She explains who you are, and who you were in past lives, to help you understand what is going on in this life to make it better. She will read your body and discuss any health problems you have, and tell you how to fix them. She will guide you in the right direction and tell you your true purpose for being in this life you are living. If you want a peace of mind and a healthy, happy future, I strongly encourage you to let Tamara help you." ~Tom Huebner, Palm Desert, CA